Ways That Lead Nowhere; and the Awareness of Sin

From Psalm 139:

"Look into me, God, and know my heart;
Examine me and know my paths.
See if I am wandering on ways that lead nowhere,
And set my feet on the path to eternity."


Lord, you showed me very painfully that I had wandered on a way that leads nowhere...

That what I was mentally accusing others of, was precisely my own sin. The arrogance and pride that I attributed to others also resided in my own soul. That the anger and disgust I felt for the persons involved was my judgement of them - something I have no right to do.

Oh, my sin hit me like a rock! I was humbled. I was shocked... because I saw so clearly that I was no better than what I was attributing to others. And that sin was eroding and destroying my soul.

Have mercy on me, Lord... and forgive me. The Lord heard my plea.

As I was deciding what to do about the situation, the phone rang. It was my priest. After our conversation, I said I had something to ask of him: "After our parish meeting tonight, will you hear my confession?"

God is good...

How to Ruin a Good Thing - A Cautionary Tale

As I was praying the OOR this morning, I was struck by a line from Psalm 69: "Idlers at the gate speak against me."

Can't you picture these folks at the entrance of a city or a courtyard gate anywhere, having nothing better to do than to spread gossip and rumors about other people? I can...

Oh yes... and then I remembered an incident that happened to me a long time ago. Here is the story of how I ruined a good thing.

Maybe about 30 years ago, I was working as social minister in my parish. I would be in the parish office a couple days a week, taking calls and visits from people who needed assistance. I liked doing this kind of ministry and I learned a lot during those years.

One day, one of my parishioner friends phoned me and said: "Do you realize that there are rumors going around about you?" What!?

And she proceeded to tell me what was being said and who was spreading the rumors. I was shocked, stunned, disbelieving, hurt, angry and frightened... I immediately went to my priest and told him what was being said. He simply shrugged it off and said: "This happens all the time. If you can't stand the heat; get out of the kitchen!" Not exactly what I wanted to hear...

What to do... what to do? I certainly wasn't going to "get out of the kitchen"... I had done nothing wrong. But there were surely "idlers at the gate" who wished me harm with their gossip.

Here is what I decided to do. I thanked my friend for telling me what was happening. I decided I would not acknowledge any of the rumors. I would not confront the person either. I simply went on about my business and did my work as I always had.

The woman who was spreading the rumors was very active in the parish and was doing a lot of good and commendable work there. At every opportunity, when people gathered and happened to mention her name, I would always make sure to say something complimentary about her and to acknowledge all the good she was doing. I never spoke badly or complained about her even when I heard others do so. When our paths crossed, I always made a point to be pleasant to her.

I guess, eventually the rumors stopped... No one else ever brought them to my attention. People realized that they were untrue; and eventually, the woman left the parish.

So... you may be thinking, that I really handled that situation well, so how did I ruin a good thing?

Well... even though I recognize that I had handled it in the best possible manner, this episode is forever tainted in my mind because I fell right into the evil one's trap! Pride replaced the good decisions I had made... how happy I was because the woman had left the parish. I had my revenge for the hurt she caused me...

Look how quickly evil can replace good. How pride and ego can slip in... How vengefulness can overcome honor and honesty in dealing with others... The purity of my motives had disappeared. Sad, isn't it...

There was a concluding prayer today in the OOR:

"In your goodness Lord, fill us with your grace.
Make us draw back from our human excesses
And hold fast to the heavenly wisdom that is your gift."

In My Hands

Something quite beautiful happened today. My priest and I were planning to visit a parishioner this morning to bring her Jesus. I had just placed a Host in my pyx when my priest came into the church. I was getting ready to hand him my pyx when he said that he had come to tell me that he was ill with a fever and could not visit our parishioner. I was holding the pyx in my hand.

I had something that I wanted to speak to my priest about and asked him if we could talk for a few minutes before I left to take Jesus to our friend. He agreed. I was holding the pyx in my hand...

We talked for several minutes. As I was listening to him, I was very moved by what he was saying. I was thinking to myself, "This is truly a holy priest." I was really grateful to be his friend. I thought these things as I was holding the pyx in my hand.

As we finished our conversation, I had a strong desire to receive a blessing from him... something I had never asked of him before.

"Before I leave, would you give me your blessing?"

"No," said my priest. "You don't need my blessing... You are holding the Blessed Sacrament in your hands..."