Perplexed, Bothered and Bewildered!

I'm not sure what's going on sometimes.  I'm not seeing everything.  I'm not hearing everything.  I looked up the word, "perplexed" and discovered this picture.  It appealed to me immediately!

Look at the frown she has...  It reminded me of something from the past:  "Turn a frown upside down."  This was the original motto of a group of parents, of which I was one... who set up an organization to help parents of children with cancer.  Back in the early 1970's, this group of parents were meeting monthly to support each other in dealing with their children's dreadful diagnosis and to help those whose children had died.  At some point these parents, with the encouragement of the physicians at the local teaching hospital who cared for these children, decided to raise funds to assist other families and to aid the continuing research to find a cure for childhood cancer.  My husband became the first president of this new group.

As the years have gone by, the small organization we parents started has become a successful foundation.  I am amazed at its growth.  It has been able to branch out in many directions.  Ideas that were just dreams for us have become realities.  The focus of the group changed a bit over the years because increasingly, children with cancer and leukemia were living much longer and many have apparently been cured.  This is great news, for in the early days, a diagnosis of childhood cancer was a death sentence.  So today, for many many families, the frown has turned upside down.

It has been a long time since I was part of this organization.  After spending many years as part of a pediatric cancer team, counselling the families of these children, playing with these children and of being present to parents during long nights as they watched their children go through the final stages of their disease, it became time to move on...  

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My goodness, it is interesting what direction this blog article took.  This is not what I intended to write about.  But guess what?  Don't you know that turning a frown upside down makes it a SMILE!     




Image: "Perplexed" by Vida Khadem, 2008

It's been that kind of a week...

Yes, it's been that kind of week. You know how it goes: where you have a long list of things you want to accomplish and at the end of the week, the list hasn't gotten much shorter. In fact, as the week goes on, you remember even more things that belong there, so the list gets added to several times.

One very heartening thing happened at Mass this morning. One of the choir members turned around to me and said very quietly, "Boo said to tell you that you can bring him Communion any time." Boo is her husband and a former long time member of the choir. He had to retire from the choir a couple years ago because of severe emphysema and he is on oxygen. He very seldom can come to Mass anymore because it is too much of a hardship for him.

Boo is a person who wants only the priest to come to bring him Communion. Our previous priest apparently visited him from time to time. Unfortunately, our present priest is not cut from the same cloth. But since Boo wishes to receive Communion more regularly, he has now asked his wife to tell me that I can do this for him. This is a big step for Boo and I was taken by surprise at his wife's request because I know his preference for the priest. It's a pity, isn't it? But I am grateful for this opportunity... God is good...

The Cat came back!

A vendor friend of mine told me this remarkable story about her sister's cat. During the first week of December, the cat failed to return home from one of her excursions outside. The sister searched for several days without finding the cat and finally concluded that it had been run over or that some other accident had befallen it.

The sister is a manager of a mobile home park and often has business with one or another of the folks who rent spaces in the park. One day last week, she visited one of the families in the park. As she approached the mobile home, she thought she heard a cat mewing from underneath the home. Mobile homes are usually required to have a "skirt" around the bottom of the home for aesthetic reasons and the sound was coming from behind the skirt.

Anyhow, she spoke with the owners and told them there was a cat under their home and that they would have to open the skirt and remove it. Apparently, the homeowners had not heard the cat or had not paid any attention to it.

The homeowners opened the skirt and a cat bounded out from underneath the home like a bat out of hell! The cat was nothing but skin and bones but before it fled down the street and out of sight, the sister noticed the collar around the cat's neck and realized that this was HER CAT!!! The cat who had been missing for a month!

The sister went home and prepared to search the neighborhood to see if she could find her cat. She wasn't sure the cat would be able to find its way home because of its emaciated condition. After having no food or water for a month, it might be in too bad a shape to remember where she belonged.

But as the woman opened her door to begin the search, THERE STOOD HER CAT WAITING TO COME INTO THE HOUSE! She opened the door and the cat darted in and went directly to where her food and water bowls had stood.

You can imagine the joy in that household. Because the cat came back!


~ Drawing - My Skinny Cat by Keith Mills

Talking about Spiders!

There was some discussion on Plurk this evening about Spiders! Spiders are not my favorite among God's creatures; in fact, the larger ones always give me a start. Anyway, the discussion reminded me of the spider that once stalked me!

I was staying with cousins in Germany some years ago, when I encountered this nightmare. It was night and I was reading before going to sleep. I was propped up in my bed with my book. Across the room was a tall wardrobe with a large mirror on its door.

I was musing about what I had just read and so I happened to glance up from my book. There on the wall across the room was a humongous spider! Its body was the size of a quarter and with its long legs, this frightful vision looked as large as the palm of my hand! Yech!

Of course, not one to leave such a spider running loose in the bedroom, I immediately got up and looked for something with which to attack it. I think I picked up one of my shoes and almost on tiptoe, I swatted it on the wall! And missed! I finally hit it and it fell. I couldn't move the furniture to make certain I had killed it, but I guessed I had at least wounded it critically. So back to bed I went and continued reading.

A short while later, I happened to glance up again and much to my dismay, there crawling across the wall was the same humongous spider! Yuck! I hadn't killed it after all! This time I got up and really gave it a whack! Again, it fell behind the furniture; and again, I figured I had killed it for sure. So, back to my book I went.

A few minutes later, I glanced up for the third time; and this time I nearly froze with horror! For there in the reflection of the mirror on the wardrobe door, I saw this horrible spider directly behind me on the wall next to the bed! I jumped out of that bed like a bat out of hell! Thank God for that mirror! It still gives me the shivers to think that I could have had such a huge spider taking a walk across my face during the night...

This time, I slammed that spider everything I had and it's remains on the wall and on my shoe proved to me that I had finally disposed of it! Whew!

I had no trouble sleeping that night...

The next morning I told my cousin about my battle with the spider. My cousin said. "Oh we see a lot of them this time of year. They won't hurt you." Right!

Ways That Lead Nowhere; and the Awareness of Sin

From Psalm 139:

"Look into me, God, and know my heart;
Examine me and know my paths.
See if I am wandering on ways that lead nowhere,
And set my feet on the path to eternity."


Lord, you showed me very painfully that I had wandered on a way that leads nowhere...

That what I was mentally accusing others of, was precisely my own sin. The arrogance and pride that I attributed to others also resided in my own soul. That the anger and disgust I felt for the persons involved was my judgement of them - something I have no right to do.

Oh, my sin hit me like a rock! I was humbled. I was shocked... because I saw so clearly that I was no better than what I was attributing to others. And that sin was eroding and destroying my soul.

Have mercy on me, Lord... and forgive me. The Lord heard my plea.

As I was deciding what to do about the situation, the phone rang. It was my priest. After our conversation, I said I had something to ask of him: "After our parish meeting tonight, will you hear my confession?"

God is good...

In My Hands

Something quite beautiful happened today. My priest and I were planning to visit a parishioner this morning to bring her Jesus. I had just placed a Host in my pyx when my priest came into the church. I was getting ready to hand him my pyx when he said that he had come to tell me that he was ill with a fever and could not visit our parishioner. I was holding the pyx in my hand.

I had something that I wanted to speak to my priest about and asked him if we could talk for a few minutes before I left to take Jesus to our friend. He agreed. I was holding the pyx in my hand...

We talked for several minutes. As I was listening to him, I was very moved by what he was saying. I was thinking to myself, "This is truly a holy priest." I was really grateful to be his friend. I thought these things as I was holding the pyx in my hand.

As we finished our conversation, I had a strong desire to receive a blessing from him... something I had never asked of him before.

"Before I leave, would you give me your blessing?"

"No," said my priest. "You don't need my blessing... You are holding the Blessed Sacrament in your hands..."

Female Deacons?

"Similarly, deacons must be dignified, not deceitful, not addicted to drink, not greedy for sordid gain, holding fast to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. Moreover, they should be tested first; then, if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.

Women, similarly, should be dignified, not slanderers, but temperate and faithful in everything. Deacons may be married only once and must manage their children and their households well. Thus those who serve well as deacons gain good standing and much confidence in their faith in Christ Jesus." 1 Tim 3:8-13


These verses were taken from the New American Bible and were part of the 1st Reading for the Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows celebrated today, September 15, 2009.

I recall reading earlier this year about the possibility of ordaining women into the diaconate at some point in the future. I imagine these verses are part of the "proof" that at one time, women as well as men, filled this role in the Christian community.

I was looking at the footnotes in my bible this morning after I read this passage. Here is what the footnotes in the New American Bible had to say about this verse 11 (with my emphasis):

"Women: this seems to refer to women deacons but may possibly mean wives of deacons. The former is preferred because the word is used absolutely; if deacons' wives were meant, a possessive "their" would be expected. Moreover, they are also introduced by the word "similarly," as in 1 Tim 3:8; this parallel suggests that they too exercised ecclesiastical functions."

I would certainly be in favor of ordaining women deacons. There could surely be no reason to withhold this ministry from women since it obviously was a legitimate one in the early Church. I'd like to know the reason it was suppressed in the first place. I would hate to think it was abolished because the powers-that-be were afraid that women might think they could then aspire to the priesthood...

Well, folks... What do you think?

Not what I expected...

Today I had an appointment with my SD. I left my shop an hour early because it takes me about 40 minutes to reach my destination. As usual I was looking forward to seeing him and I had some things to talk about.

So I walked in and sat in my usual chair in the lobby to wait. I never know what the traffic is going to be like so I always plan for about 15 minutes leeway. Well, the clock struck three and there I sat. After about 10 more minutes, I decided to call his cell phone... such a long wait was very unusual. No answer... Finally I saw several people come along and I asked where Fr. J. was.

Someone paged him... no response. Someone called him on his cell phone... again, no response. They finally determined that he was not in the building.

Okay, so I asked if I could sit in the chapel for awhile... Of course, someone said...

So, I spent the rest of my hour there... and it was really a godsend because I rarely am able to sit and listen to what God might want to say to me. It was very peaceful and quiet in the chapel. It is not easy to do this at home... Even if I am in a quiet place at home, my thoughts seem to connect with things I have to do there. I become easily distracted...

But today in that chapel, I could be at peace.