Talking about Spiders!

There was some discussion on Plurk this evening about Spiders! Spiders are not my favorite among God's creatures; in fact, the larger ones always give me a start. Anyway, the discussion reminded me of the spider that once stalked me!

I was staying with cousins in Germany some years ago, when I encountered this nightmare. It was night and I was reading before going to sleep. I was propped up in my bed with my book. Across the room was a tall wardrobe with a large mirror on its door.

I was musing about what I had just read and so I happened to glance up from my book. There on the wall across the room was a humongous spider! Its body was the size of a quarter and with its long legs, this frightful vision looked as large as the palm of my hand! Yech!

Of course, not one to leave such a spider running loose in the bedroom, I immediately got up and looked for something with which to attack it. I think I picked up one of my shoes and almost on tiptoe, I swatted it on the wall! And missed! I finally hit it and it fell. I couldn't move the furniture to make certain I had killed it, but I guessed I had at least wounded it critically. So back to bed I went and continued reading.

A short while later, I happened to glance up again and much to my dismay, there crawling across the wall was the same humongous spider! Yuck! I hadn't killed it after all! This time I got up and really gave it a whack! Again, it fell behind the furniture; and again, I figured I had killed it for sure. So, back to my book I went.

A few minutes later, I glanced up for the third time; and this time I nearly froze with horror! For there in the reflection of the mirror on the wardrobe door, I saw this horrible spider directly behind me on the wall next to the bed! I jumped out of that bed like a bat out of hell! Thank God for that mirror! It still gives me the shivers to think that I could have had such a huge spider taking a walk across my face during the night...

This time, I slammed that spider everything I had and it's remains on the wall and on my shoe proved to me that I had finally disposed of it! Whew!

I had no trouble sleeping that night...

The next morning I told my cousin about my battle with the spider. My cousin said. "Oh we see a lot of them this time of year. They won't hurt you." Right!

Our Lady of Grace

Several of us from the Catholic Community of Plurk decided to blog an article in honor of Mary since May is dedicated to her. There are many different directions one can take in writing such an article. Here is mine...

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Somewhere in an old picture album is a photograph of a little girl of about five or six with long straight brown hair, all dressed in white. Her arms are filled with hydrangeas and she is marching with a group of other little girls... and boys too... as they process up the sidewalk beside the church in our annual May Procession.

When I was a little girl, our parish membership was several times larger than it is today. We had many families with young children and many activities for both young and old.

Today, my parish is a shadow of its former self. People, long ago, moved out to the suburbs and built new churches and thus, the membership of my inner city parish declined. Now, we have become a parish of older people with fewer young families with children to fill the pews.

I got to thinking about Mary and her place in the life of our parish community. What immediately came to mind was the annual May procession and the crowning of the statue of Our Lady of Grace, which once stood in the sanctuary to the left of the altar. This statue and several others are long gone; sold off during the 1970's when the church was renovated to accommodate the Vatican II changes.

My thoughts went back to that annual procession with boys dressed in their Sunday best and the girls in their white dresses. My arms were filled with blue hydrangeas from my parents' garden at home; other girls carried roses or whatever else was blooming in their family's gardens. I doubt if anyone had any formal bouquets.

As we climbed the steps to the church, mothers would herd us along to keep everyone moving as we fervently sang the Marian hymns that all of us knew from years past. One of the older girls would be selected to crown Our Lady of Grace, a high honor for the one chosen. The rest of us must have gathered around Our Lady of Grace there in the front of the church, watching the May Queen climb the ladder with the crown made of fresh flowers. I don't remember what we did with our own flowers... perhaps we left them at the foot of the statue and later someone placed them in water.

This is a pleasant memory for me because the tradition of a May procession has been lost in our parish. However, the neighborhood is in the beginnings of a resurgence. The beautiful old Victorian homes are being renovated and affordable housing is also on the drawing board, so there is hope for my parish too. In the years to come, young families with children may once again grace the church... Perhaps, these families will bring along their own May traditions. Who knows, a May procession may one day wind its way up the sidewalk again. And inside, Our Lady of Grace may await her earthly crown once more.

I wish I had written this - An excerpt from St. Anselm's Proslogion

I was given this excerpt to reflect on... It really touched me deeply because it reminded me so much of the search for God in my own life. It expressed that yearning that God places in our hearts and souls that only He can fill.


A portion of Chapter 1 of Proslogion by St. Anselm:


Come now, you poor creature, turn your back on your busyness for a little while. For a few moments leave the tumult of your thoughts; throw off the burden of your cares and put aside your wearisome occupations. Make some time for God; rest in God for a while. Enter into the chamber of your mind, exclude everything but God, and what will help you find God; shut the door and search for God. Now say how you long to see God's face. Say to God: Lord, it is your face that I seek. Say it with your whole heart.

Come then, Lord my God, come and instruct my heart where and how to search for you, where and how to find you. Where shall I look for you, Lord, if you are absent and not here? And if you are everywhere, why are you not visible to me? But of course, your dwelling is in light inaccessible. Then where is this light inaccessible, and how can I approach it? Who will guide me and conduct me into it so that I may see you? And then, by what signs, by what visible form shall I know you? I have never seen you; I do not know what you look like, Lord my God. What am I, this exile of yours, to do in a far off land, O most high God, what am I to do? Banished far from your presence and distressed by my love for you, what shall your servant do? With burning desire I strive to see you, and your face is very far from me. I long to come to you, and your dwelling is inaccessible. I wish to find you, and have no idea where you live. I want to search for you and I do not know your face...

O Lord how long? How long, Lord, will you forget us? How long will you avert your face from us?... Look upon us, Lord, listen to us, enlighten us, show yourself to us. Give yourself to us again so that all may be well with us, for without you everything goes wrong for us. Look kindly upon our labors, our strivings to come to you, for apart from you, we can do nothing.

Teach me to seek you, and to the searcher show yourself; for I can neither seek you unless you teach me how, nor find you unless you make yourself known. Let me seek you by my desire and grow in desire by seeking you. Let me find you by loving and grow in love by finding you.


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There is so much to reflect on in these few paragraphs. I hope it will be helpful for you also.

Considering the end of Life as we know it...

"I want you to do something for me," said my friend. She had just finished receiving "the Body of Christ" from me and we had prayed our words of thanksgiving for this wonderful gift.

We were in her room at a rehab center near my home. I was coming straight from Sunday Mass to bring her Holy Communion. She was and is hungry for her Jesus and wants me to come to her whenever I can. She is a woman of deep faith, strength and courage, and I love her... She has become like a sister to me. And the feeling is mutual.

"At my funeral, I want you to say some words of consolation to my family. I want you to tell them about me," she continued. This is the first time she has spoken to me about her death.

"Yes, I will do that for you..." I said.

It only took a moment for me to make up my mind... This was no time to give false hope when we both knew that her illness was severe. I had been with our priest when he anointed her during a recent hospitalization. She was in a coma and the doctors had told her family that they could do no more. She had recovered from pneumonia that time and now, if she can get strong enough with physical therapy, she can go home. But only a miracle can cure her cancer at this end stage.

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I began visiting my friend to bring her Holy Communion about two years ago. She called me one day at the recommendation of our priest and asked if I would visit her. Though my parish is small and I knew who she was, I had not really spoken to her other than a nod or a "hello"... She knew me only as a choir member and a lector.

She had just been diagnosed with a virulent form of cancer and would not be able to come to Mass for awhile because of the aggressive treatment. I had not even noticed that she was missing from the congregation and no one else in the parish except for our priest and her godmother even knew that she was ill. My friend is a very private person. It was not until this last hospitalization that parishioners learned of her illness and could pray for her by name.

I visited her soon after her initial phone call and we connected right away; and so our friendship began. We have marveled many times how God works in bringing people together. How our priest had happened to select the right person for her, and for me too.

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I am really honored to be asked to speak at her funeral and I will tell her story of grace, courage and love.

My friend is preparing herself to leave this world and to enter the next. She is indeed fortunate to be able to do that. Think of how many people are taken in an instant...

But all hope has not been lost for her; for only God knows what He has in store for her. The prayer I said for her after she had received her Jesus, was that God would give her the grace to surrender her life to Him for whatever purpose He had for her. Amen.

Psalm 42 ~ As the Deer panteth for the Water

I was thinking about one of my favorite gospel songs the other day. It is called "As the Deer" and is based on Psalm 42. My gospel choir's version has a few Alleluias at the end which I have never found on any of the commercial renditions of the song that I have listened to. Maybe our choir director at the time we learned this song put the Alleluias there herself. It wouldn't have surprised me...

Rita was a fine musician and played by ear... I'm not sure she could read much music but it didn't hamper her at all. She was a natural. She was a Baptist preacher who was our choir director for 13 years! Strange, isn't it? A Catholic choir director who was a Baptist preacher. Worked for us!

Anyway, the words we sing go like this:

As the deer panteth for the water

So my soul longeth after thee.

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship thee.

You alone are my strength, my shield
(To) you alone does my spirit yield...
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship thee.

Allelu- Alleluia...

O Lord, we praise your name.
All the glory
All the praise...
O Lord, we praise your name.


Here is a uTube version (without the alleluias)

As the Deer

Easter Vigil 2010

I've thought back a lot to the Plurk I wrote yesterday about an incident that occurred before the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday evening at my parish. It really struck me and made me realize something much deeper was happening than I had at first imagined. So, I thought I would expand the Plurk into a blog article...


Holy Saturday: Keeping Vigil

This evening when I arrived at church, I was carrying a seafood platter for my priest. I found him praying in the sacristy where Jesus had been reserved after Adoration at the Altar of Repose had come to a close on Holy Thursday.

My priest had placed a folding chair there in our small sacristy so that he could come there during the day to pray. Our tabernacle in the sanctuary stood empty, its doors open. The Altar of Repose had been removed the day before...

My priest knew that I would be arriving soon with the seafood platter, which would be his Easter breakfast since he was fasting. For how long, I knew not...

He heard me as I approached the doorway behind him. As he got up, he told me I should take his place in the chair and pray for the next ten minutes while he took the food over to the rectory. He said he had been praying specifically for Pope Benedict and I was to continue his prayer until he returned. He even reminded me a second time before he left.

Being the dutiful parishioner that I am, I sat down and spent the next few minutes in prayer for our pope. The door to the little sacristy cabinet where Jesus was reserved was open and I could see the ciborium there. Jesus was waiting...

When my priest returned, he took my place in front of the Blessed Sacrament and continued his prayer. And I left to do my duties in the church, helping to prepare for the Vigil.

The chain of prayer had remained unbroken... And the exposed Sacrament had not been left alone.

Were you there, when they crucified my Lord...

I used these reflections as I led the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday at my parish. Perhaps they will be helpful for others...


First Station: Jesus is condemned to death

Jesus prays: Father, in the Garden of Gethsemane, I begged You to let this cup pass from me. But I knew even then that I would accept it and that Your Will would be my destiny. Pilate has given me over to people who hate me. They cry out for me to be crucified... and I am afraid.

Second Station: Jesus carries His Cross

Jesus prays: Father, help me in this, my final journey. They have crushed a crown of thorns on my head; they have scourged my body; and now, they have thrust a heavy cross across my bleeding back... Father, please give me the strength to carry this cross up Calvary Hill. I feel so alone... but I know You are with me. And Father, I forgive them...

Third Station: Jesus falls the first time

Jesus prays: Oh Father, the cross is too heavy. My body is too weak. I can scarcely see what is ahead of me and I have stumbled and fallen. The people are mocking me as they drag me to my feet again... Father, help me...

Fourth Station: Jesus meets His afflicted Mother

Jesus and His Mother speak: Mother... Mother...
My son, my precious son... If only I could take your place... But I will walk with you... I will never leave you... I love you...

Fifth Station: Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus to carry His Cross

Simon speaks: The soldiers are pushing me toward the cross and are forcing me to help a man carry it. Will they crucify me too? Oh, God, behold the man... I recognize him. Truly, he is now a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Jesus, I will help you...

Sixth Station: Veronica wipes the Face of Jesus

Veronica speaks: What have they done to my Lord? He is like someone from whom people hide their faces. They despise and reject him. My Lord, let me wipe the blood from your face...

Seventh Station: Jesus falls the second time

Jesus prays: Father, give me courage... People are crowding around me. I can scarcely breathe... I am so tired. I stumble and fall hard on the sharp cobblestones. The soldiers are dragging me to my feet once more, because I have no strength left. They will not let me die here...

Eighth Station: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem

Jesus speaks: Father, the crowd has gotten larger and among the people are many of the women who used to accompany me. Their tears touch my heart. Despite my anguish, I want to comfort them. Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but for yourselves and for your children.

Ninth Station: Jesus falls a third time

Jesus prays: Father, I cannot go on... I am sick unto death. I have lost too much blood... The way has become steeper because we are climbing Calvary Hill. Again, I slip on the jagged stones and am crushed to the ground by the weight of the cross... I know the end of my journey is near. Your Will is hard, Father, but I put my hope and trust in You. There is nothing else...

Tenth Station: Jesus is stripped of His clothes

Jesus prays: Father, I have reached my destination. Here I stand on Calvary Hill. They have taken my clothes and are casting lots for them. They taunt and revile me in my nakedness. I have been led like a lamb to the slaughter. Soon I will be cut off from the land of the living... Stay near me, Father... I need You...

Eleventh Station: Jesus is nailed to the Cross

Jesus prays: Oh my Father, the pain is so great I can hardly bear it. These hand that have healed your people... These hands that have blessed their children... These hand that have broken the bread and blessed the cup... These hand have almost been split apart by the spikes nailed through them. My feet that have walked in your paths, will do so no more in this life. As the cross is raised, my body is now being dragged down by my weight... and I am in agony...

Twelfth Station: Jesus dies on the Cross

Jesus speaks and prays his final words:

Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing...

Truly, I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise...

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me...

I'm so thirsty...

It is finished...

Father, into Your hands, I commend my spirit...

Thirteenth Station: The body of Jesus is taken down from the Cross

Mary speaks: Be careful... Be gentle with him... John, bring me my son. I want to hold him in my arms one last time... Oh, my precious Jesus... My son...

Fourteenth Station: Jesus is laid in the tomb

Joseph of Arimathea speaks: Mary, I have a tomb already hewn into the rock. We will wrap the body of Jesus in a linen cloth and will lay him there. I will seal the tomb with a large stone so no one can steal his body...


Our Heavenly Father speaks to US: Through his suffering, my servant shall justify many, and their guilt he shall bear. Therefore, I will give him his portion among the great and he shall divide the spoils with the mighty, because he surrendered himself to death and was counted among the wicked; And he shall take away the sins of many, and win pardon for their offenses. Is 53:11-12