How to Ruin a Good Thing - A Cautionary Tale

As I was praying the OOR this morning, I was struck by a line from Psalm 69: "Idlers at the gate speak against me."

Can't you picture these folks at the entrance of a city or a courtyard gate anywhere, having nothing better to do than to spread gossip and rumors about other people? I can...

Oh yes... and then I remembered an incident that happened to me a long time ago. Here is the story of how I ruined a good thing.

Maybe about 30 years ago, I was working as social minister in my parish. I would be in the parish office a couple days a week, taking calls and visits from people who needed assistance. I liked doing this kind of ministry and I learned a lot during those years.

One day, one of my parishioner friends phoned me and said: "Do you realize that there are rumors going around about you?" What!?

And she proceeded to tell me what was being said and who was spreading the rumors. I was shocked, stunned, disbelieving, hurt, angry and frightened... I immediately went to my priest and told him what was being said. He simply shrugged it off and said: "This happens all the time. If you can't stand the heat; get out of the kitchen!" Not exactly what I wanted to hear...

What to do... what to do? I certainly wasn't going to "get out of the kitchen"... I had done nothing wrong. But there were surely "idlers at the gate" who wished me harm with their gossip.

Here is what I decided to do. I thanked my friend for telling me what was happening. I decided I would not acknowledge any of the rumors. I would not confront the person either. I simply went on about my business and did my work as I always had.

The woman who was spreading the rumors was very active in the parish and was doing a lot of good and commendable work there. At every opportunity, when people gathered and happened to mention her name, I would always make sure to say something complimentary about her and to acknowledge all the good she was doing. I never spoke badly or complained about her even when I heard others do so. When our paths crossed, I always made a point to be pleasant to her.

I guess, eventually the rumors stopped... No one else ever brought them to my attention. People realized that they were untrue; and eventually, the woman left the parish.

So... you may be thinking, that I really handled that situation well, so how did I ruin a good thing?

Well... even though I recognize that I had handled it in the best possible manner, this episode is forever tainted in my mind because I fell right into the evil one's trap! Pride replaced the good decisions I had made... how happy I was because the woman had left the parish. I had my revenge for the hurt she caused me...

Look how quickly evil can replace good. How pride and ego can slip in... How vengefulness can overcome honor and honesty in dealing with others... The purity of my motives had disappeared. Sad, isn't it...

There was a concluding prayer today in the OOR:

"In your goodness Lord, fill us with your grace.
Make us draw back from our human excesses
And hold fast to the heavenly wisdom that is your gift."

In My Hands

Something quite beautiful happened today. My priest and I were planning to visit a parishioner this morning to bring her Jesus. I had just placed a Host in my pyx when my priest came into the church. I was getting ready to hand him my pyx when he said that he had come to tell me that he was ill with a fever and could not visit our parishioner. I was holding the pyx in my hand.

I had something that I wanted to speak to my priest about and asked him if we could talk for a few minutes before I left to take Jesus to our friend. He agreed. I was holding the pyx in my hand...

We talked for several minutes. As I was listening to him, I was very moved by what he was saying. I was thinking to myself, "This is truly a holy priest." I was really grateful to be his friend. I thought these things as I was holding the pyx in my hand.

As we finished our conversation, I had a strong desire to receive a blessing from him... something I had never asked of him before.

"Before I leave, would you give me your blessing?"

"No," said my priest. "You don't need my blessing... You are holding the Blessed Sacrament in your hands..."

There's much more to it than I thought!

Peregrin over at Perspectives of a Wanderer wrote an interesting article about his first meeting with a spiritual director. It got me to thinking.

A couple years ago, the idea came to me that I should have some spiritual direction. I had no idea what that really meant; but I did have the feeling that I needed some help in the area of my spirituality, since I seemed to be going nowhere fast! So I went to my priest and asked if he could help me. He agreed...

A couple of months later, after what I thought was progress, my priest gently told me that he could no longer direct me. He told me that there were things he wanted to correct me about but was unable to do so because we were also friends and he did not wish to hurt me. He recommended I call a friend of his, an order priest (Fr. J) who he felt would be better able to direct me.

It took a few weeks before I could connect with Fr. J... left a phone message, email, etc. Not hearing anything, I got really discouraged and went back to my priest and said I had no luck in contacting Fr. J. As it happened, the Holy Spirit intervened and soon afterwards, my priest ran into the order priest, mentioned that one of his parishioners had been trying to contact him. Fr. J acknowledged he had gotten the messages but had had no time to respond.

That very afternoon, I received a call from Fr. J, who immediately set up a meeting at the local abbey for a week or so later. And thus my real spiritual direction began.

I was nervous about that first meeting. I didn't know what would happen; whether we could work together; whether I would be able to trust someone I didn't know... Probably what most people will experience in such a situation.

So the afternoon of the appointment, I drove to the abbey, went in and waited. Finally around the corner, Fr. J appeared, dressed in his cassock. As soon as he saw me, he opened his arms wide and gave me a big hug! I knew then, that I was in the right place!

What has amused me so much, is that here I am, a left-of-moderate Catholic and who have I ended up with? A traditional priest as my spiritual director!

His first advice? I must trust the Holy Spirit completely; that I must have patience and I must be prepared to take little steps at a time. I've never forgotten that advice.

I decided to write this little article because so many people wishing spiritual direction aren't sure how to go about it. This is how it happened for me.

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo

What to do... What to do...

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I am still up in the air as to what I want to give up or do extra for Lent. I had no problem deciding what to do last year because I discovered two weekday Masses at a local hospital chapel that I began attending. I was so happy about that and have now made it a given to attend them each week. I met many nice folks because of it and even more importantly, I was able to receive my Lord Jesus more often.

This year I have thought of several different ways to enrich my Lenten experience but nothing has grabbed me as tightly as those extra Masses did last year. Here is a list of some of the things I thought about and that I am considering and will probably offer up for Lent:

1. I would like to spend some real quality time in meditation. I have only done this hit or miss. I have to find a way not to become so easily distracted. It's probably because I am older and thus my mind wanders more easily to daily happenings.

2. I recently bought Ascent of Mount Carmel by St. John of the Cross. I'm pretty sure I will begin reading that book tomorrow. I love to read anyway and always have a book or two at hand (I own a bookshop which makes my habit convenient!).

3. Lent is always a good time to lose some weight so I will do my best to desist from my favorite crunchies... Even my son (who lives with me and is not a believer) has said no more cookies for him! That will save me on my grocery bill, don'cha think!

4. I have one of those coin boxes from Church that are given out before Lent to place one's change in for the poor... Maybe some of that extra grocery money can find its way into that.

5. And now a biggie! What to do about my life on the internet. Between Plurk, Facebook, Chat and special websites that I visit, I spend a lot of time online. Some things I do require a web presence for me but there is a lot of time that I spend online that is not necessary. And there is lots that I put off that needs to be done at home... Well, I guess I answered my own question...

6. There is also lots in my spiritual life that needs work... I'll just have to take those things a day at a time and see if I can remove some of the things that keep me from God.

So, that's about it! I would guess many of you are in the same boat as I am... Wanting to make a difference in our lives... Not sure exactly how to go about it except with little steps and with big trust in the Holy Spirit...

AMEN!

ChitChat in the Chapel

This blog post came about from a reflection I read this morning over at Fr. Charles' fine blog, a minor friar. His reflection, Toying with the Talkers, is well worth a read. Fr. Charles loves his early morning, 6:45 a.m. daily Mass and arrives in plenty of time to pray and meditate before it is time to begin Mass. BUT his plans for a quiet time of meditation are continually foiled because his faithful parishioners also arrive early and spend the time before Mass chatting - and apparently not very quietly!

Anyway, I had to chuckle about his story of the chitchat going on before Mass because I have had to endure the same thing. Let me explain:

Last year for Lent, I decided to try to find a Mass nearby that I could attend as part of my Lenten resolutions. I discovered a twice-a-week Mass in the chapel of the local Catholic hospital not far from my home. The chapel is served by the pastor of the nearby church, actually my territorial parish, which I do not attend, since I prefer my birth parish in the nearby city.

So, I began to attend this Mass. The regulars at the Mass are a tight knit group, older people like me, who have gotten to know each other well over the years. Introvert that I am, I tried to keep to myself at first... I arrived earlier than the others and so thought, "Wow, I'll have some time to meditate and pray to Jesus in the tabernacle!" NOT!

For too soon, the regulars began to arrive and the chitchat started! At first I was annoyed... Where was my meditation time? God, I really need some quiet time with You...

But guess what? It wasn't too long before they asked who I was... where I went to church... whether I was interested in lectoring during the Mass along with the 2 or 3 other people who take turns each time... and introduced me around.

And something else had begun to happen. I began to realize that this little community of people care very very much for each other. They look out for each other. If someone is missing they want to know why. They are also willing to let a stranger into their midst. They are Catholics who have a great love of the Mass. They want to be here... They want to be among their friends and as a community, we worship and pray and offer the Sacrifice together with the priest. What more can I ask...

Although I truly miss time to have an extended period to meditate and pray in this chapel on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, I take what time I can... Then when my neighbor turns to me to ask a question or to tell me something that I might be interested in knowing, I try to be there for her without annoyance... God must simply have other plans for me those two mornings...

The "O" Antiphons of Advent

Beginning today and ending on December 23rd, folks who daily recite The Liturgy of the Hours will find themselves praying the great "O" Antiphons. Each day during the next seven days, a different name describing Christ found in the Old Testament is used during Evening Prayer or Vespers.

Here they are:

December 17 - O Wisdom, coming forth from the mouth of the Most High, reaching from one end to the other mightily, and sweetly ordering all things: Come and teach us the way of prudence.

December 18 - O Adonai, and leader of the House of Israel, who appeared to Moses in the fire of the burning bush and gave him the law on Sinai: Come and redeem us with an outstretched arm.

December 19 - O Root of Jesse, standing as a sign among the peoples; before you kings will shut their mouths, to you the nations will make their prayer: Come and deliver us, and delay no longer.

December 20 - O Key of David and scepter of the House of Israel; you open and no one can shut; you shut and no one can open: Come and lead the prisoners from the prison house, those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, Isaiah had prophesied.

December 21 - O Morning Star, splendor of light eternal and sun of righteousness: Come and enlighten those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.

December 22 - O King of the nations, and their desire, the cornerstone making both one: Come and save the human race, which you fashioned from clay.

December 23 - O Emmanuel, our king and our lawgiver, the hope of the nations and their Savior: Come and save us, O Lord our God.


If you wish to read more about these Antiphons, please check the Wikipedia article found here.

The Empty Cross

I have a shop in a flea market near where I live. Among the variety of articles that I sell is some religious jewelry that came from a religious goods shop that closed many years ago. I have some crucifixes and also simple crosses that can be worn on a chain.

Not long ago, an elderly woman and her young grandson stopped by and were looking at my selection of crucifixes and crosses. The little boy was pointing out the crucifixes to her, noting that Jesus' body was on the cross.

Grandma explained to the boy that they did not wear crucifixes; only crosses. Their religious faith was concentrated on the Resurrection of Jesus, not His Crucifixion. I thought this was an interesting explanation of a distinction between some Christian denominations and us Catholics who cherish both the Crucifixion and the Resurrection and are not shy about wearing images of the crucified Jesus, as well as medals representing different saints.

I thought Grandma did a nice job of explaining what she believed and I doubt that the child will forget what she taught that day.